Don't Miss Me

Everything has to start somewhere.

I sat on the dock last summer, and when I dozed off, I let my subconscious speak for me.

It told me my fears, my wishes, and things I never knew about myself. it collaborated with my imagination and created a dream.


I knocked on the glass case that surrounded me,
I pictured it as a ball, and when I gazed around,
I knew that I would never go anywhere just staying put.

A sphere became a box.

The lid was heavier than I expected; looking up, 
I pictured the lid inches from my head like before, but closer because it was caving in.
But when I looked up and around, there was no box.

There were no confinements.

I lost all shelter from the outside world.
It told me not to miss it.

So I stepped out, of the box that had disappeared
and reached for my safety blanket that I could not find; for it had been hidden.
Frantically I grasped for the nearest object that didn't seem to be moving
only to miss and fall to the ground.

Before I hit, the ground gave away, and the massive hole opened;
only this time, it wasn't black, and it never closed up as if it was swallowing me.
It stayed open, and a light shade of blue.

The clouds folded and became stairs.
Tentatively I placed a foot on the step, and when nothing happened,
I placed my second foot next to the first.
At the same moment, the stairs became a slide.
What a perfect day to wear a skirt.

Hit reverse.

Don't become attached to the normal,
don't miss it when it's gone.

I was suddenly sliding backwards up the slide toward a lady in blue.
She handed me a paper towel role, sans paper towels, and points toward the West.

So I peered East, looking through a periscope and with a paper towel role extension.

Through the small tunnel of vision one spot was moving.
Back and forth, back and forth, but never out of my line of sight.
Just running, back and forth, closer and closer and closer.
Until the spot was standing in front of me.

'Don't miss me when I leave. A la derecha, por favor.'

I moved left.

It went right, and continued running back and forth, back and forth toward the mountain.

      Toward the sunset.
               Toward the edge of the dock.

But there wasn't a splash when it went past the edge,
there wasn't even a spray from walking too fast across water, there was no agitation.
The water sat as still as it was before, rocking back and forth just slightly.

When I dipped my toes in the water, ripples appeared and the coldness sent shivers up my legs.
Goosebumps rose on  my skin, and I knew if there were wild animals about, I would be an easy target.

They can smell fear.

My fear and I melted into a puddle of water sitting on the dock,

dripping over the edge,
    mixing with the water below,
         mixing with the sky above.

I am part of the air you breathe,
             and the water you drink,
  and the light that reaches you from the summer and winter sun.


      I am part of everything you see,

so don't miss me when I'm gone.